but the face is familiar
by gaffer42
Summary: Some things you learn and forget, some things you learn and remember, and some things you remember - even when you forget...


I really wish I had rights to these characters, but I'm just borrowing them for a while. They'll be returned unscathed (mostly). First MIB fic. Please let me know how you like it.  
  
  
  
She shifted as the boss concluded the briefing, and Zed glanced at her then returned his attention to the agents.  
  
"So those are your assignments. Let's keep this one neat, people. The last conference got messy. And when things get messy in our business.well, you all know the importance of this particular group, so keep sharp." He put the folder down. "Dismissed. Elle, please stay for a moment."  
  
She watched the others file out. It was a subdued bunch. The events of the last conference were far too recent for them all, but they were professionals, and there was a job to do. Kay's shoulders had a familiar set as he strode out, looking neither left nor right.  
  
"Keep an eye on him." Zed's voice, above and behind her, startled her.  
  
"Sorry." she apologized. "Just thinking."  
  
"What about?" He sat opposite her.  
  
"Kay. He seems to be handling it better than I thought."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"His job doesn't seem to be affected. He's about as communicative as ever, and his record is still flawless. His temp partners tell me he's still got it."  
  
"He does at that." Zed said neutrally.  
  
"But."  
  
Zed sighed. "Think, Elle. What hasn't he talked about?"  
  
She considered. "Well, he hasn't talked about that night. And I don't think he's talked about Jay at all."  
  
"He hasn't. He hasn't talked about him. He hasn't even said his name. He's grieving, Elle, hard. He's got it all bottled up and I'm just afraid it's going to come out all at once. He's asked to be retired."  
  
She looked over at him. He nodded.  
  
"Not now - not yet." she said. "What about the counselor?"  
  
"He went once - that's all we can make him do. He won't go again. Just keeps asking for retirement."  
  
Elle frowned. "You don't think."  
  
"Gamma? No, he's too." Zed stopped, matching Elle's frown. In the early years of the MIB one agent, Gamma, had neuralized himself in guilt and anguish after his partner's death - a death he felt responsible for. And had gone insane. ".Kay is different from Gamma. He wouldn't do it." But it sounded like he was trying to convince himself, and she knew it.  
  
"We need him in this mission, we need every available agent. But I want you to be there as the safety. Apart from Jay, you know him the best. Even better than I do."  
  
She sighed. "No one knows him now, Zed. The only one who did is dead."  
  
He had grown adept at not looking at the locker, just sort of skimming over it with his gaze. It was just a door, just a letter. He hadn't been able to bring himself to clean it out yet, and had forbidden anyone else to do it. It was a sort of denial, he knew, cleaning it out would mean that his partner was gone. While it still held traces of the man's presence there were whole minutes he could forget, ignore the fact that Jay had died. But then reality hit him again. It was almost a physical presence and he caught the edge of the door.  
  
"You all right?"  
  
It was one of the younger agents, Gee. Suited him. He was destined for sciences, had the "gee-whiz" face Kay himself once had.  
  
"Fine." he said shortly. Somehow he felt compelled to add "Didn't sleep very well."  
  
"Know what you mean." Gee pulled his jacket out and shrugged into it.  
  
"Doubt it." Kay took his watch and tied his shoes. Rebuffed, Gee watched him silently.  
  
Elle sat silently in the passenger seat. Kay was beside her. Usually - before - there was a sense of life to him, a competent ease that made it natural to sit with him without talking. Now it was like sitting next to a stone.  
  
They regarded the building silently. It was, to all appearances, a warehouse, with a small taxi business operating out of one corner. It squatted hard by the river, indeed one office window and one wall looked straight down to dark water. The taxi business was real enough; it provided jobs to several of the species with better than average reflexes, but the rest was, essentially, a hall for hire. The damage caused by the explosion two weeks ago had been largely repaired, and no chances were being taken. They'd been assigned exterior surveillance. Within, two warring worlds were negotiating a fragile peace. It was something Elle relished, their involvement with things that could improve the lives of thousands, but tonight all she could think about was the last time they'd been here, the panic, the smell of burning wood, fuel, rubber. She shivered slightly, and Kay glanced over.  
  
"Cold?"  
  
"No, I'm fine." she replied, then smiled slightly at him. "Thanks for asking."  
  
He nodded shortly, turning his attention back to the building. She looked at his profile, then back at the water.  
  
The crowd was good tonight. Dave handed out the last plate of stew and last bun, and took his own to the side of the kitchen to eat. Steve shifted over as he approached.  
  
"So what do you think?" he asked. "Do you want the job?"  
  
Dave began to eat. "I really appreciate this." he said, through the food. "I do want it. When can I start?"  
  
Steve's dark, craggy face creased with pleasure. He ran a hand through his thinning hair. "Tonight?" He held the keys up and slapped them into Dave's waiting palm. "You can move your things into the room after dinner."  
  
Dave grinned back. He'd managed to find a home and a job, and he owned "things". Not bad for someone who two weeks ago had nothing. Not even a name. He worked the rest of the evening, washed the dishes, cleaned the floors. The room the Brothers of Mercy had for the caretaker of the "supper club" wasn't large but it was clean and comfortable. He tucked his clothes into the drawers, made the bed, then carefully hung the remains of the suit he'd been wearing the night he'd been brought into the supper club. The Brothers had treated his injuries - which consisted of a bump on the head and a few scrapes - and he'd been there ever since. They didn't know he couldn't remember. He'd taken "Dave" out of some recess of his mind when asked his name, and ignored the other questions until they'd stopped asking.  
  
Something in him made him keep it secret. Something made him tell no more than was necessary. But his nature wouldn't let him take without giving back, and so he'd helped around, and was now rewarded. He had a base to start his search from. Somewhere there were people who fit the images in his mind, somewhere they knew who he was.  
  
  
  
Kay was dozing restlessly beside her. She stared out, watching her side of the car and his, disregarding the breach of procedure. It was obvious he hadn't been sleeping, and even a nap could help. In theory. She knew when he started to dream, nothing as dramatic as twitching or thrashing, just a sigh, a muttered denial, and then he woke with a start. Elle put one hand on his shoulder.  
  
"We're almost done. Just another few hours."  
  
He settled back, nodded.  
  
"Nightmare?" she asked.  
  
"No more so than usual."  
  
"Want to talk about it?"  
  
"No."  
  
She withheld a sigh of her own, and continued scanning the area.  
  
  
  
The whine grew to a scream. Figures moved, shifted, ran in ways no human ran. He expected to be afraid, but instead he felt only concern, he couldn't see - someone. That was it. Concern that grew to worry that jumped to almost fear - where was he? The others were out, and - the man - had said he could defuse.defuse. Somehow the shriek of sound was mechanical. Something was winding up to explode. And he couldn't find - the man. He remembered seeing a shape. He recalled where it was. Maybe he could help. He ran in. Then he heard a clicking sound. Spun around. The man was behind him, reaching, an expression of horror on his face. Names, shouted - but unintelligible.  
  
He woke to his own voice shouting. Heart pounding, he stared into the dim glow of his room, the street light gleaming on the floor. Then he slumped back and closed his eyes, swallowing hard against the bile that rose in his throat. Gradually his stomach settled - he knew it would, it did every night, but the sense of loss, of desolation never did. Again, he thought about speaking to one of the brothers, trying to describe the hole in his soul that he couldn't explain, why every night it was like he'd lost his brother. The sorrow haunted him. He was able to push it away for moments at a time during the day but now, at night, it claimed him, and he wondered that losing someone he couldn't remember could hurt so much.  
  
The negotiations had concluded, satisfactorily. They drove back to headquarters. Kay dropped Elle off and she watched him take the LTD around to the underground access.  
  
In her apartment, she made and ate a light supper - the cafeteria at HQ was all right but heavy on the starch. She finished the last chapter of the book she had been reading then just sat, staring out the window. Someone passed in the hall, walking softly. Curious, she stood and opened the door a crack. It was three am Earth time, far past the shift change and well into the sleep period. She caught sight of the fire door closing and, urged on by some unknown impulse, she pulled on her sneakers and followed.  
  
Whoever it was climbed the stairs to the roof. She climbed just a floor below, and when she got to the top she was fairly certain she hadn't been detected. Hand on door, she turned the knob - and was jerked off balance when whoever it was pulled hard on the door. She fell into Kay's arms.  
  
"Bored?" he asked neutrally.  
  
She straightened up. "I heard you come past my door. Thought maybe you could use some company." She looked up into his expressionless face. "Maybe not." She straightened her shirt and turned. "Good night."  
  
"Wait."  
  
She turned, not letting her surprise show, but he had turned and moved to the small arboretum maintained by some of the more pastoral of the agents. She trailed after him, sat in one of the wrought iron chairs next to him. He sat very still, staring out over the sleeping city.  
  
"He ran down a cephalopod, did you know that?" he said suddenly. "And first day on the job he was a midwife to a squid. Kid was made of rubber, nothing ever got him down. I remember, once, we were undercover as Tarquons, and we got into a head-butting contest. Oh, he complained, but when it was his turn you'd have thought he was Tarquon. He won his match, see, and was up there strutting like the grand Turbon himself." He chuckled, remembering. "And when we had him in for the testing, right at the beginning - there's this multiple choice thing, but the test isn't what's on the paper. There's one big, heavy table in the room, and the chairs are these silly egg shapes - no where to write on. So he tries a couple times, finally gets up and drags this big table over - makes a sound like nails on a blackboard."He trailed off again, and she looked up, not surprised to see his eyes glistening. "Damn, I miss him, Elle." He blinked once and the dampness became tears, sliding unheeded down his cheeks. "I still see him in my dreams. If I'd been just a few seconds faster."  
  
"it would have made no difference." she completed. "The explosion was between you. It was a vaporizer - we would have lost you both." He shook his head slightly, but she moved to crouch by him. "We would have, Kay. I've re-run the sims a hundred times. You survived because you were just outside the dome." She hesitated. As a rule Kay did not like to be touched. He tended to discourage it. But the tears flowed still, unchecked and unremarked, and she took one hand in both of hers.  
  
"I loved him too, Kay." she said. He glanced at her, then away again. "But I'm selfish. I couldn't have standed losing both of you."  
  
He looked at her again, understanding dawning.  
  
"You're not alone, Kay. Don't push us away." She was crying now, too, but she didn't care. "Don't push me away."  
  
He regarded her silently, his face holding that curious flatness of control being desperately clung to, control on the verge of being lost. He stood, slowly, like his years were catching up, taking her by the hand. He led her to a small pear tree in a large wooden crate.  
  
"He planted this last month." he said. "Figured we'd have fruit off it in a couple of years." He fingered one of the leaves, then suddenly it was as if the starch left his legs. He sank down, kneeling, bowed under the weight of his grief, and she knelt by him, holding him and crying with him, as the night deepened to dawn.  
  
Dave slept the rest of the night without dreaming. The morning dawned and he started his daily routine - for some reason, once his headache had receded those weeks ago, he had felt the need to run and so he ran, easily, five miles. The first time he'd done it he'd been amazed at how easy it was, and he'd just kept it up. Running, it was easier to ignore his feelings, relish the health he had and the life he was building. He ran the same way each time, nodding to the neighbours, smiling at the storekeepers. Showered and shaved, he took the budgeted money and headed off to dicker with the local greengrocer. As he passed the mouth of the alley leading to the back door, he checked his wallet again. Behind him, something flashed briefly and then faded.  
  
  
  
Elle heard the shower. It woke her and she shifted on the couch, wincing, stood up and stretched. By the time Kay came out, dressed in black sweats, she'd put together a decent breakfast - cereal, fruit, coffee. They ate, together, and the silence wasn't deafening this time as it had been in the car the previous night. It was comfortable. He got up and cleared away.  
  
"More coffee?" he offered.  
  
"Thanks." She noted his glance at the clock, marked in Arcturian time. "I called last night after you fell asleep." she said. "Told Zed we'd be in late." He nodded and made the coffees.  
  
"Thanks." he said.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"For everything." He stood before her and it was like he was alive again, the weight had eased. The pain was still there, would be for a long time yet, but he was aware, functioning, participating in life again.  
  
She spared a second to wonder if Jay had known what he meant to his partner. To them all.  
  
  
  
Suzie was a large, comfortable woman, dressed in the nadir of style. She had lived on the streets for four years, but found a life and purpose with the Brothers, and now ruled the kitchen. She shuffled through the bags, nodding approval as Dave washed up and pulled out the pots.  
  
"Good stuff here, my boy." she said, pleased.  
  
"And I had four dollars over." Dave gave her the change. She tucked it into the coffee can that sat, with four others, on the shelf above the stove.  
  
"You have a way, don't you?"  
  
"Mrs. Stanford likes me." Dave grinned and scrubbed at the potatoes. "She says I remind her of her husband when he was young." He tossed them, accurately, into the pot. "I brought some cases upstairs for her and she gave me an extra ten potatoes. The rest" he struck a pose "was just natural talent."  
  
Suzie rubbed his head with her knuckles affectionately. "Getting shaggy, bud." she said. "But I like the beard."  
  
"Change of image, change of job." he replied. He finished the potatoes. "Next!"  
  
  
  
This time, he stopped in front of the locker. The room was empty, they were almost an hour late, and he took the time to stare at the door, trace the letter. He opened it. There wasn't much in it - most of the personal stuff had been boxed and stored by the others when they cleared his apartment, but some things identified it as Jay's locker - a photo of the two of them taken at the last Christmas party stuck on the inside of the door, a worn leather wallet that contained a gold shield from his old life. He took the personal stuff and recycled the rest, then slid the letter off and placed it on the shelf in his own locker. The next Jay would not be recruited for some time - they'd gotten into the Greek alphabet now, and it would be a while before they cycled back to English. By then maybe he would be able to handle a new face with the old name. Or maybe Zed would finally heed his request for retirement.  
  
He blinked.  
  
Retirement.  
  
It had been a solution, the only one he could see for a long time, but now he realized Zed had been right - it wasn't something he wanted. Not anymore. The pain was still there - Jay had been student and partner, friend and younger brother, the feeling of failure and loss was still so deep it was as if his very soul were turned inside out - but the work was still important, he was needed, and he had lost enough in his life to know that being needed could give him a reason to get up each morning. A reason not to forget why they were all there in the first place.  
  
  
  
"We have received information" Zed said without preamble "that one of the Lenra royal family has arrived on the planet. Some sort of adolescent ritual, evidently the young have to survive on a backward planet for one of their cycles before they can be considered adult. It appears" and the sarcasm was fairly heavy "we are considered backward."  
  
"How long is a cycle?" Kay asked  
  
"About four months, our time. The information we have places this - Ruta, is his name - on Earth back about a week or so ago. Your scans will be set for Lenra, and the Krusa would like us to keep an eye out for him. You don't need to pick him up, just try and make certain if he gets into trouble we're there to get him out. Subtly." Briefing concluded, he stood. The four agents rose too. "Kay, Elle, Cue, Gee, you're on general patrol. Gee, stick with Cue. Try to curb your scientific curiosity - you're as bad as Elle."  
  
  
  
Sammy was the only name he'd given, and he fairly radiated 'stay away', but Dave brought over a bun anyway, and a pat of butter.  
  
"They were left over. Thought you might like them." he said, and placed them in front of the younger man. Sammy looked at them, then at Dave. Something in his gaze seemed more open, more lonely than the usual guests, and Dave found himself sitting opposite.  
  
"My thanks." Sammy began to eat the bun.  
  
"So, where're you from? New York?" Dave had found it was a good opening gambit, but it fell flat this time.  
  
"Far away."  
  
"What brought you here?"  
  
"I had to come."  
  
Silence fell. Sammy finished the bun. "Thank you." he said again, and stood. "I must go. The shelter fills quickly."  
  
Dave rose, too. "If you want to come by early tomorrow, I could maybe get you on the casual labour gang. It doesn't pay much but it's enough to get a room at the Y."  
  
Sammy paused. Then he nodded. "I would appreciate that."  
  
He left, and Dave watched him go.  
  
  
  
"I haven't seen nuthin!" The objection was as much a part of Jeeves as his green blood, and Elle and Kay ignored it.  
  
"Lenra technology, Jeebs. A new seller. I know you got it - picked up a gelopod with a Lenra visonator. One of the new ones, worth a lot. Who sold it to you?"  
  
"Lenra? I never carried Lenra."Jeeves began, then caught Elle's eye. "OK. Okay, this once. Young guy. Looked like he was on the run. He made enough off that to keep himself in food for a few days, that's all. He might be back, huh? If he has anything else to sell."  
  
"And if he does you'll call us right away." Elle completed.  
  
He leered at her. "Sure thing, sweetie."  
  
She sighed, and pulled out her blaster.  
  
"Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean it!"  
  
Dave had shown Sammy where the casual help was hired, and it was a week before he saw the young man again. He almost bounded into the dining hall, grinning widely, a small package in one hand.  
  
"Hey, buddy!" Dave wiped his hands on a towel and walked over to meet him. "How's it hangin'?"  
  
Sammy looked puzzled, but handed over the package. "Here - for you."  
  
Dave opened it. Inside was a new sweatshirt. "That's great, man. Thanks. But how."  
  
"There is a big construction job over a few blocks. They hired me for the duration! I had a day job and they liked how I worked. I have got six weeks work!"  
  
"That's good news, but you should save your money, Sammy. Save it for first and last months rent - you could get your own place."  
  
"I do not need it. I will not be here that long." It was evident he'd spoken without thought, and he paused. "I mean, the YMCA is good enough for me. And after this the foreman said he might keep me on for the next job too."  
  
Dave eyed Sammy, but refrained. Instead he shook out the shirt and held it up. "Perfect." he said.  
  
Sammy smiled.  
  
  
  
For Dave, life had settled into a routine. Mornings were spent cleaning, shopping and cooking with Suzie, afternoons were his own - usually spent at the library - and evenings were for the supper club guests. As time went on, Sammy came more and more as a volunteer than a guest, and Dave found his habit of quiet observation curiously - but comfortably - familiar. Their friendship became firmer, and though the dreams were no less frequent they now had a sadness about them that he could tolerate, rather than the tearing despair.  
  
Sammy, for his part, seemed to have a curiously skewed knowledge about New York - he calmly asked, one time, when the riots were going to start. And he had no understanding of why the Brothers did what they did, needing to have the concept of charity explained several times - it wasn't that he didn't approve, Dave thought, but wherever he had come from there was no need of it. And that had him wondering where his friend did, in fact, come from. But any questions to that subject were met with a gentle smile and a change of subject. Dave finally stopped asking, but he thought about it.  
  
At night he went to the roof, sometimes with Sammy or Brother Steve, or alone, and he looked at the stars.  
  
  
  
Within the MIB headquarters, as well, the routine was re-establishing itself. In Elle, Kay found not only a very competent agent and trustworthy backup, but someone who knew when to talk and when to keep silent, who didn't comment when he occasionally, accidentally, called her Jay, who realized that he was still coming to terms with a loss he'd never known before.  
  
The prince had been very sensible, after all, but he'd sold another small piece of technology - the Lenra version of a cel phone - and Jeebs had been able to put them on his tail. Ruta had spent a couple of nights sleeping on the street when that money had run out, then he'd found work as a day labourer on a construction site and now divided his time between work, a soup kitchen run by the Brothers of Mercy, and the YMCA where he had a small room.  
  
  
  
"Five weeks." Elle said. "And I thought you field agents led exciting lives."  
  
"This is exciting. Playing guardian angel for an intergalactic prince is very exciting." Kay returned dryly.  
  
"I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know about construction." she grumped. "On the positive side, he's learned about charitable work."  
  
They had followed him to the Brothers of Mercy soup kitchen and now waited. If he ran true to form he would be leaving shortly for his room at the Y and another fun filled day would be over.  
  
The scanner beeped softly, and Elle touched Kay's arm, pointing.  
  
"Down that alley, I have an atypical reading." she said, fine-tuning it. "It doesn't look right, though."  
  
She fiddled a second more, sat back.  
  
"What species was Buzzard?"  
  
Kay thought, then said something the average listener wouldn't think could be vocalized by a human.  
  
"Damn" Elle turned the screen so he could see it. "Did he have a brother?"  
  
  
  
The last of the dishes were done, Dave had obtained two cups of something hot and wet that was loosely termed coffee, and they sat in the kitchen, talking. Sammy seemed on edge, and he glanced over his shoulder as the door slammed, but it was just Suzie, and he leaned back again. Dave watched him, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Hm?" Sammy took a sip of his.  
  
"You're jumpy, man. What's up? Something wrong?"  
  
Sammy shook his head, automatically, then stopped. "I.don't know. Why would anyone want to follow me? What purpose would it have?"  
  
Dave put his coffee down. "Follow you?"  
  
Sammy grinned halfheartedly, trying to recover the ebullience of earlier. "Not a problem!" he said heartily. "So, the boss said to me."  
  
Dave shook his head once, firmly. "Oh, no. No sidetracking. You have a problem, I want to help. It's what friends are for."  
  
  
  
"He's still not moving." Elle said. Since it hadn't been making any overt motions to attack anyone, they'd called in to report this latest wrinkle.  
  
"The 'Buzzards' are not cleared for Earth. They're not really cleared for civilization." Zed said on the comm.  
  
Kay nodded. "So they're hired guns, then."  
  
".and does the Lenra royal family tend to piss people off?" Elle queried.  
  
"Never knew a royal family that hadn't made a couple enemies, at least." He turned his attention back to Zed. "We'll see what we can find, and report. Might want to mention this to the Krusa."  
  
Kay closed the comm, checked his inside holster, nodded at Elle. "Let's take a look."  
  
  
  
They had moved to Dave's room and were sitting on his bed, door half open so Sammy could watch the entry. It had been subtle, but Dave noticed how Sammy had placed himself, how he could see without being seen. And he wondered, for a second, at how he knew what his friend was doing.  
  
"I did not think it was important" Sammy was saying "but then I noticed the same person waiting outside the job site two days in a row. He pretended to read a paper, but he followed me. I could tell. I lost him in the subway. I did not want to lose the job, though, and now he knows where to find me no matter what."  
  
"Quit the job?"  
  
"No, Mr. Venetti needs me too much. It would leave him in the lunch."  
  
"Has this person done anything at all? Or just followed?"  
  
"Just followed." Sammy edged forward on the bed. The front door was opening slightly, and he seemed ready to bolt - then two shadows passed in front of the cracked glass pane and the door closed again.  
  
  
  
"There." Elle tugged Kay's sleeve and pointed - a shape, so thickly swathed in offcast clothing as to be unrecognizable, was opening the door, cautiously, like he didn't want to disturb someone inside.  
  
"A Buzzard."  
  
"Come on." They didn't run, but something in their stride alerted the quarry - or maybe it was the suits, she thought - the shape let go of the knob and kept going, on down the past the dumpsters, to the far street. They followed, passing the door. The Buzzard began to run, dodging people as they got to the more heavily traveled areas, and finally it ducked into an alcove. They followed, crickets drawn, but it was empty.  
  
"Transtator!" Kay snapped, and took out his comm. "Twins! Someone just used a transtator from this location. Track it!"  
  
  
  
Sammy sat back, clearly relieved. "I hesitate to ask" he said "but would you perhaps join me on the walk back to my rooms?"  
  
"Heck with that." Dave hopped off the bed. "Let me ask the brothers if you can stay here tonight."  
  
"I am obliged, but it would not make any difference. I will not leave the job, and whoever it is will not make a motion in front of the rest of the workers. I may need to refrain from coming here, and return to my rooms immediately after work." He looked at Dave. "I would miss our conversations."  
  
"I would too. Listen, if you want to go home, I'll walk with you."  
  
Sammy nodded once. "Thank you."  
  
  
  
"No trace." Kay grunted as he lifted a box and tossed it aside. "No residual radiation at all."  
  
"The twins don't read a thing. They're sending someone out with a tracer. Want to wait?"  
  
"Where's Ruta?"  
  
Elle wandered to the mouth of the alcove and looked down the alley, aiming the scanner. "He's moving. There's a human with him." The scanner chirped, and she tapped the screen.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That was funny - the reading on the human." She made an adjustment. "There, I'll pick up only non-humans." She glanced up. "Looks like he asked a friend to walk him home. Want to follow?"  
  
"Discreetly. The last thing we want to do is let him know we've been watching him."  
  
  
  
The streets were quiet. Something in the air made Dave's hair stand on end, and he walked easily, scanning the shadows. Sammy was keeping watch as well, as they made their way to the main street. The Y was several blocks away and they moved quickly, not running, but not wasting time.  
  
The attack came only three blocks away from safety. Something large, moving impossibly fast, dove from behind a parked van and tackled Sammy, sending him into an alley. Dave responded instantly, jumping for the person's back and reaching around for a chokehold.but the neck wasn't there, only a solid bone of some sort. He still held on, grimly, far less shocked than he felt he should be, as Sammy scrambled clear and looked for a weapon.  
  
"Run!" Dave yelled, still clinging to the figure.  
  
"Dave."  
  
"Just run! Get out! It's you he wants, not me!"  
  
Surrendering, Sammy turned and ran for the Y. The man beneath Dave wriggled and bucked and suddenly Dave found himself flying through the air. He twisted and landed on his feet, then planted a roundhouse kick on the being that would have done Jackie Chan proud. It only staggered the person - if it was a person - it came at him again, with at least one more set of legs than it should have. He dodged and belted the shape with all his might, but a backhand caught him on the side of his head. He was airborne again, dazed, then he hit the wall and slid down, groggy, behind several garbage cans. The world swam in front of his eyes for a moment, and everything faded to black.  
  
  
  
Sammy ran the distance half-backwards, craning for a glimpse of his friend, and barreled right into Kay. He recoiled, alarmed, but recognized the suit.  
  
"Agents!" he gasped. "Someone was trying to kidnap me. My friend is fighting him off - we have to help him!"  
  
"Your Excellency, we'll escort you to your room."  
  
"But Dave."  
  
"Dave is the human with you?" Elle asked quickly.  
  
"Yes, he's back there, he told me to run."  
  
Kay glanced at Elle, who nodded and headed back the way Ruta had come, scanner in one hand and cricket in the other.  
  
  
  
He woke again. For a moment the smell of garbage reminded him of that rainy night weeks ago - his head swam.  
  
he was cold. It was raining again, and he turned up what was left of his collar, hunkering down in the dubious shelter beside a dumpster. He couldn't remember being so miserable. Actually, he couldn't remember much of anything. His whole life seemed to have begun in the harbour, caught on a deadhead, jacket torn and head ringing from what was obviously an explosion of some sort. The huge piece of tree he was hooked on had saved his life, keeping his face out of the water. The tide had taken him a fair way down the river before he'd managed to get to shore and now he was stuck, no money, no ID, no name. Frustrated, he struck out at the dumpster and shouted wordlessly. "Shaddup!" someone hollered. "Gwan! Get outta here!" Ignoring them, he slid farther down, hoping the rain would stop, hoping he could remember.  
  
.this time, though, he gathered himself up and scanned the area. The attacker was gone, as was Sammy. He moved cautiously to the corner, peered around. He was there, with someone else - a woman, it looked like, and a man, though their features were indistinct. But Sammy's body language told Dave he was not afraid, and as the man and his friend moved towards the Y the woman turned and headed down the road towards him.  
  
He sank back into the shadows and retreated.  
  
  
  
They were waiting in the sparsely populated - and decorated - lobby at the Y when Elle returned.  
  
"Dave?"  
  
"I didn't see him, your hi."  
  
"Sammy." Kay interrupted.  
  
"Sammy. There was no one when I got there. He obviously wasn't hurt."  
  
"Sammy doesn't believe that he saw anything requiring neuralization." Kay said.  
  
Sammy sighed. "I will call the Brothers later and see if he got back okay. I will ask if he did see anything funny, and let you know."  
  
Kay nodded. "So, Sammy, how much longer?"  
  
There was a flash of anger from the prince. "How much longer are you going to have to follow me, you mean?"  
  
"Yes." Kay was unruffled.  
  
Sammy glared. "Three weeks." he said shortly.  
  
"Don't worry, we won't interfere." Elle said. "You won't even know Kay and I are here."  
  
The angry set of Sammy's shoulders wavered.  
  
"I know it is your job. I appreciate it, too." he said quietly.  
  
"Well, then." Kay stated. "You'll not see us tomorrow morning."  
  
"Good evening." Elle added. They made for the door, but Ruta followed, stopping them near the door, out of earshot of anyone else.  
  
"Um. Agent Kay, the whole roy. um - family was saddened to hear of Agent Jay's death. We sent condolences through the regular channels, but my father asked me to convey our sympathy in person if I met you."  
  
Kay's back stiffened, but he didn't turn. "Thank you. We appreciate it." And the voice held no expression at all.  
  
Ruta moved closer. "I mean it, Agent. I never had a real friend until I came here..."  
  
It was a non sequitur, and Elle raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Oh, I was never lonely." he expanded. "I have tutors, sycophants, body guards - but never a friend, someone who would defend you just because he likes you. I did not understand what my father meant when he said you would 'have a hard time of it'. I did not realize he knew you both, from the attempted invasion."  
  
He blinked, suddenly. "Maybe that is why he sent me here. This is a very strange planet, but I have made a friend here. I think I can understand, if only a bit, what you're going through." He glanced at Elle, and amended it. "What you all are going through."  
  
Kay turned, reluctantly, but he saw the real sympathy in the prince's eyes and nodded, slightly, once. When he spoke again, there was warmth in the tone.  
  
"I appreciate it, Ruta." he said quietly. "Good evening."  
  
  
  
Dave let himself in. Steve glanced up from a book as he entered, then came to his feet in concern.  
  
"Sammy called us, he was worried about you."  
  
"Someone tried to mug him on the way back to the Y. I fought him off."  
  
Steve came to his side as he wavered, head throbbing. "You have another goosegg, Dave. Go to bed. I'll find some aspirin." He paused as Dave turned. "Dave, was there anything - odd - about the mugger? Sammy was asking, said the cops were wondering."  
  
Dave paused, leaning on the door frame, remembering the feeling of hard, slick bone and the curious way the figure shifted under him, the extra legs.  
  
"No." he finally said. "He was wrapped up in scarves, but I didn't notice anything weird about him."  
  
  
  
Five more days passed without incident. It appeared the Buzzard had gone to ground, but Kay and Elle maintained their surveillance. Then, Friday night, the prince surprised them.  
  
  
  
"We will meet at the theater, then. After dinner." Sammy said. The three men from his work crew hung around outside the payphone, waiting. "Great. See you then." He slipped out the door and grinned at Mo. "Dave will meet us."  
  
"Good." the larger black man rumbled.  
  
Warren grinned. "Triple X. Man, I can't wait. The special effects are supposed to be great!"  
  
"Special effects." Sammy had learned if he trailed off, someone would generally pick up the line of thought and finish it. He had managed to blend quite well with that simple technique.  
  
"Well, the explosions, they staged them really well, I was reading. And the fight sequences, and the bluescreen."he chattered on as they turned to the parking lot.  
  
  
  
"Three civilians." Elle sat back and clipped the scanner on her belt. Three - Sammy, a short, burly fellow and the big man - got in a pickup that had seen better days, and the other man hopped on a Harley. It blatted to life, and Kay and Elle followed as they pulled into the traffic.  
  
  
  
Dave finished putting the pots away, and Steve grinned at him. "Go on, you don't want to miss the first few minutes."  
  
Dave closed the cupboard and glanced up. "You've seen it?"  
  
Steve nodded. "Some of the brothers and I went last week. It's a great popcorn movie."  
  
Dave's surprise showed in his face. Steve laughed. "What, because I'm a monk I don't appreciate the occasional movie? Thankfully the order is a bit more broadminded than that. Go on, you'll be late."  
  
  
  
There was a lineup outside the movie theater. Dave walked up the line, scanning for Sammy. A pickup and a motorbike passed him, and someone yelled his name - it was Sammy, and the vehicles headed for the parking lot.  
  
A black sedan was following. He paused, staring after it - it was an old LTD, and for some reason he felt he should know it, felt that it was more than it appeared.he shrugged it off and jogged down to the parking lot. The sedan didn't turn in and he disregarded it.  
  
The motorbike was parked by the time he got there, and the pickup was disgorging it's occupants when the sky lit up with a brilliant green flash. Something was there. It grabbed Sammy and vanished.  
  
  
  
They were ready for it this time. "Transtator!" Kay said quietly. It wasn't more than a few seconds before Bob came back with a destination reading. They pulled away from the curb, Elle requesting a cleanup for the befuddled construction workers left behind.  
  
  
  
"Sammy!"  
  
The black man swung around at the cry. Dave pounded down the lot towards him.  
  
"Are you Dave?"  
  
He nodded, pulling up short next to them.  
  
"Who's got the Harley?"  
  
The man with the helmet raised it. "What happened? Where's Sammy?"  
  
"I think I know who knows." Dave headed towards the motor bike, things falling into place rapidly.  
  
"Come on, we gotta follow that black POS LTD."  
  
  
  
"Back to the warehouse district." Elle sighed. "Just once I'd like to end up following someone to the Ritz."  
  
"They may be a better class of alien criminal there, but you still need the gun." Kay said.  
  
Elle looked down. "At least I wore my trousers." she mused. "Most of them have no sense of propriety. It ruined Frank's day when I stopped wearing a skirt."  
  
"Ruined the worm's day, too." Kay added, with the small quirk at the corner of his mouth that she was learning to interpret as a broad grin. " I saw one of them actually drink decaf."  
  
She snickered.  
  
  
  
Dave had long since decided not to ask himself, anymore, why he had the skills he did - to run, to fight, to track, and now to be stealthy. The man on the Harley - Drew - had dropped him off and headed for the police. Dave had said he'd just watch and wait till they came, but the circumstances seemed oddly familiar, and he couldn't resist. He moved in quietly, watching. There would be sentries, he knew.  
  
The man and the woman had disappeared around a corner. He hung back, fighting some need to be there with them. It was Sammy he was worried about, not two strangers in the oddest black suits he'd seen. But there was silence, then, nothing moved, no doors slamming or windows breaking, He checked his watch. Twenty minutes - too long. He felt compelled to follow, cautiously.  
  
The walkway was narrow, un-roofed, lined with pallets and barrels. There was a shape on the floor ahead, huddled, with something like a metallic jellyfish draped over - no, hovering over. It was the woman. As he watched, the jellyfish gathered itself and raised up, and it was floating - floating! He responded automatically, leaping from cover, grabbing the three silver tentacles (because the black ones would knock him out, his subconscious supplied) and swinging it around to impact on the ground like a bag of ice cubes he was trying to break apart. It did the same thing to the jellyfish, and he dismissed it from his mind, bending to check on the woman. She was unconscious, but alive, and he opened her hand and took the tiny gunlike device he knew would be there.  
  
  
  
He blinked awake, saw the Buzzard staring at him through a bluish haze.  
  
"Agent Kay." it said. "What a wonderful bonus. I get my pay, for the prince, and my pleasure from you."  
  
"Who's paying for the prince? The rebels?" Kay shook his head, and realized the haze was a force field of some sort, suspending him a good foot off the floor. "They'll never pay up. They'll try to double cross you. I know, I've dealt with them before."  
  
The Buzzard just snickered. It was an ugly sound. "If they don't pay I'll just find another buyer. But don't think you've distracted me, Kay. I have a score to settle with you, and this disruptor field to do it with. How many cells in the human body, Kay? How many can I explode before you die?"  
  
His mouth was dry. Knowing he would need his strength, he said nothing.  
  
  
  
The alley ended at a door. He disregarded it, climbing a pallet and pulling himself up on the roof of the entry, then moving cautiously to check the several windows in the second story. One gave at his push and he raised it, slipping inside.  
  
He was on a catwalk that ringed the empty space inside. It had once serviced a crane but now only the rails remained. He kept low and moved in the shadows, sliding around to where he could see an oddly flickering light dancing against the wall.  
  
He saw Sammy. His friend was bound in something silvery and seemed stuck to a wall, but unhurt. Indeed, the kidnapper didn't seem to be paying any attention to him at all - his regard was aimed at a man that was pinned in a bluish/green light with odd striations running through it, like a puddle cast ripples of light on a wall. The figure was spread-eagled and the sound of harsh breathing was audible even where he stood.  
  
The kidnapper said something. It wasn't in English.  
  
"He broke the laws. We tried to take him down peacefully." the pinned figure responded. The kidnapper gestured and the wavering became more pronounced, the man twisted and gasped.  
  
The creature spoke again, and the anger was unmistakable.  
  
The response came thorough gritted teeth. More wavering, and this time a ragged cry of pain.  
  
  
  
Dave felt something twist in his gut, his breath came short. He was moving before he realized it, trying for a shot, reacting to the scene below in a manner he couldn't understand. The question had been asked again, and the answer was obviously the same - the scream of agony lanced through him like it was his own pain and he fired at the kidnapper before leaping from the catwalk and taking quick cover.  
  
And something that was not human stared at him.  
  
He gave up trying to control his actions. He simply acted, trusting his body to do what had to be done. He fired at the wall behind Sammy - the recoil was just what he was expecting - and it disintegrated, pushing Sammy out of harms way. His next target was the Buzzard. But he'd gone, vanished in his first move. He'd left the energy field on, though. The man was barely conscious, gasping for breath against the pain. There had to be a power source - there. Firing from cover he blew it apart, the field died and the man dropped to land heavily.  
  
Dave slid from the shadows then, moving towards the man. He dropped to one knee by the crumpled body and rolled him carefully over. The brown eyes were open, half-seeing, dazed from the torture, but gradually they focused.  
  
Disbelief warred with hope.  
  
And it was like a door in Dave's mind had started to swing open.he'd seen this man before, in his dreams.  
  
He knew this person.  
  
It was his - his partner that was there in front of him with the expression of someone granted his dearest wish.  
  
and Buzzard fired from behind, spinning him around to fall heavily over Kay.  
  
  
  
She woke, suddenly, confused, but with the feeling something was extremely wrong. She rolled over and pushed herself up. The cricket was gone, and the sentry 'bot lay smashed a few feet away - another agent? But then why would they have taken the cricket, surely they would have been armed.   
  
She shrugged mentally, reaching under her jacket for her backup piece, and followed, unknowingly, in Dave's footsteps, heading for the roof. Clarity of thought was something he had always prided himself on. Since that day, all those years ago, when he'd made a wrong turn that changed his life, he'd been able to see the situation, evaluate it and act on it with a decisiveness that no one else could match.  
  
So it was with some surprise that he realized he was well and truly confused.  
  
He granted himself some leeway for the pain that had now receded, and for the internal injuries he knew he'd sustained from Buzzard's enthusiasm for revenge, but still, he should be able to figure something out. There had to be some way to get them out of this, if only he could focus his racing mind, come up with some way to keep his now not-so-dead partner from becoming another victim of the Buzzards.   
  
Elle moved quietly across the catwalk. It was evident that whoever it was had used the cricket, dust hung in the air and a wall had definitely lost a battle with an energy blast. She saw the Buzzard standing over one - no, two figures, neither of whom seemed conscious.   
  
Movement caught her eye. Something was climbing the joist behind the wrecked wall. She moved back into the shadows for a moment, watching both the floor and the wall. Buzzard was gloating, it seemed, his sibilant language was hard to understand at this distance, but his gun remained slung over his back. The other figure moved briefly into the light - it was Lenra, evidently the prince had managed to de-activate his human suit - and Elle relaxed a hair. With him out of the way it left only the civilian to be worried about. She moved closer, trying for a clean shot.  
  
The worst of it was he was so damned weak. Kay considered and rejected another plan, one ear monitoring the Buzzard's rant - a repeat of what he'd said earlier - he, Kay, had been responsible for the death of very respected member of the clan, vengeance was sweet, etcetera. He spared a moment to hope Elle was alive, then mustered the energy to shove Jay off his shoulder as gently as he could, and half-sat. It was a mistake - not only did the Buzzard swing the gun around but something caught fire in his gut and he clenched around it, unable to concentrate on anything for the moment but the pain. With the pain came anger.   
  
"I hate.irony." he gasped, and the Buzzard lowered his gun again, stepping closer, expecting a plea for mercy. He received almost two hundred pounds of angry Lenra instead.  
  
Elle had just a moment to react as Ruta launched himself, using all the power in his three long legs, aiming straight for the Buzzard's head. His aim was to overbalance the assassin, obviously, and Elle ran like fury down the catwalk, came to a stop and aimed, carefully - the Buzzard's head came up and she fired, once. It was a clean shot. The Buzzard's body remained upright for a second, then slewed sideways, Ruta jumping clear as it collapsed.   
  
Kay dismissed the Buzzard the second it became apparent it was no longer a threat, turning his attention back to Jay before the body hit the ground. He hitched himself a bit closer, leaning down.  
  
"Slick?" he whispered, and he could only fear, now, that his partner had been returned only to be taken again. He reached for Jay's neck, felt for a pulse. It was there. He was alive. That knowledge drained him of the artificial strength of adrenaline. He slid down with one hand resting on Jay's shoulder, curled around the burning in his side, staring at his partner as Elle ran up.  
  
"Slick." she heard Kay say quietly. It was a tone of immense satisfaction, and she dropped to one knee, doctor's instincts taking over. Kay had few obvious injuries, but her experience told her the gray pallor and sweat- streaked face was a bad sign. She pulled out her com and called for help, then glanced at Ruta - who was watching - before turning to the civilian...and she sat down hard, astonished.   
  
"JAY?"  
  
The black helicopter was large, bigger than the old Sikorskies Zed had learned to fly so many years ago. When you were in the belly of the beast, it was hard to believe you were even flying - the technology made it possible for them to go higher and faster than most jets.  
  
Zed stood with Ruta at the back of the cargo area. It was a multi-function space, now serving duty as an ER. Kay was semi-conscious, drifting, as Elle did her exam. A medic worked on Jay, as they lay on the exam tables, side by side. Jay's heart had stopped, briefly, just after the liftoff. It was the effect of the blast, Zed knew - it was electronically based and threw all the delicate systems in a human into a cocked hat. That few minutes before Elle had revived him had been the longest Zed could remember in an age. Ruta simply stood, tattered human suit over one arm, still and quiet. It was several minutes before Elle completed her exam and came over.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"An outlawed disruptor field. It had to be on maximum. Ruta, how long was Agent Kay in the light?"  
  
The prince thought. "I believe it would have been perhaps ten minutes."  
  
"And he's still alive?" Zed asked.  
  
"He's a tough old bat." She frowned, lips thinned with worry. "Even with the nanites I don't know what sort of chance he has. There was a lot of damage. I gave him all we had on board to start the cellular repair, I'll bolster the numbers when we land and put him in zero-G, he's had all the painkillers I can give him safely, but I just don't know."  
  
"Agent Elle." the medic called. She looked over.  
  
"Kay's awake again." she said, and beckoned them.  
  
Kay's face was very pale, now, with shadows under his eyes that looked almost painted there. He was looking over at Jay, and there was a ghost of a smile on his face.  
  
"Will you look at him." he said faintly.  
  
"Ruta thinks he must have had amnesia." Zed said. "He was working at the Brothers of Mercy as a caretaker, showed up a day or two after the explosion, according to Brother Steve."  
  
"I asked Agent Zed to call them, give them some sort of explanation." Ruta said. "He has friends there, they would be worried."  
  
"Know how it feels." He sighed. "He's alive, I'm dying. Not fair, is it?"  
  
Elle and Zed started to say something, but Ruta over-rode them, with the unconscious confidence of a prince.  
  
"Agent Kay, you can not give up now! You just can not! Everyone is trying their best to help you." He tried to make his voice stern. "You have a responsibility to them and to your partner."  
  
Kay nodded slightly. "You'll make a good king, kid. I'll try." He looked at Zed. "But." he trailed off.  
  
Zed nodded. "I'll look out for him, Kay." He grinned tightly, sitting firmly on his emotions. "Don't I always?"  
  
Kay turned his head then, again, to face his partner, until his eyes drifted closed again, and his head lolled slightly. And Elle escorted them to the seats.  
  
  
  
He knew he'd been awake at least a couple times, but it was hard to remember much of anything. Elle's perfume stood out clearly, and one heck of a splitting headache, but nothing much else. Except for a constant concern, like an itch he couldn't scratch - remembering Kay, sprawled on the floor, obviously injured. What had happened?  
  
It was that itch that finally drove him fully awake.  
  
It was disorienting. He lay there for a moment, letting the room adjust itself back into the normal rectangular shape, feeling a heaviness in his limbs that told him he'd been unconscious for a fairly long time. But the headache still persisted, and his back was aching. Perversely, he welcomed it - there had been nightmares of paralysis and worse - even their advanced medicine had problems with regenerating nerve tissue. The aches made him feel more alert by the moment.  
  
The door opened. He looked over, pleased that the room didn't cavort around him, as Zed entered. The older man paused at the door a moment, then, seeing Jay was alert, walked in.  
  
"Elle told me you were awake." he said gently. "So you know, he's still alive - but he was badly hurt. He's in ICU - Elle's with him."  
  
He nodded. ICU. Not far.  
  
"So when can I see him?"  
  
Zed quirked a smile at him. "I told her that you'd ask. He's in zero-G. It was a disruptor, the nanites are gaining the upper hand, but he won't be awake for a while yet. Stay here and take it easy, we can keep you updated."  
  
"I can take it easy there, too." Jay replied with a tone of sweet reasonableness. He started to sit, and Zed stepped over to help, raising the head of the bed.  
  
"I know. But you know how tight the quarters are in there with a zero-G tube."  
  
"I don't take up much room." He stared at his boss, trying to make him understand that he needed to be there, like humans needed air.  
  
Zed seemed to understand. He nodded. "I understand, kid. Let me see what I can do."  
  
  
  
Time had passed, and he roused from a nap he'd not meant to take when they started rolling the bed. Privately he admitted to himself he'd had no real chance of making it to ICU on his own - never had the hall seemed so long. They passed several people and their smiles and encouraging words seemed to give him strength. He mustered a grin that, though a shadow of its former self, appeared to satisfy.  
  
Zed and Elle were waiting as they came around the glass wall, but he didn't see them, craning his neck for a glimpse of the pod. His partner floated in the zero-G tube, wrapped neck to toe in the white fuzz used to maintain and monitor body temperature, and track the nanites progress. The monitors were showing alarmingly low values even to his untutored eye, but the tracking index indicated they had been even lower. He realized Elle and Zed were by him, felt Elle's hand in his, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of the man who's death had tortured his dreams. Kay - alive. He reached out and touched the plass gently, as if touching Kay's arm, lay staring at him, and never quite realized when he finally passed out again.  
  
  
  
Even the worms were subdued. There was no reason, really, both Jay and Kay were alive and on the mend, but something had happened.  
  
Jay had been released first, taken a day to recuperate and rebuild his life, and been back in headquarters as if nothing happened. Kay's recovery was much more protracted, and at first Jay was by him every opportunity he got, but as the older agent became healthier, his visits diminished, and finally stopped. No one had the nerve to ask precisely why, and no one doubted that it was Kay's wish. He was senior agent, had always been very private and self-contained.  
  
"Bet he can't stand being coddled." one worm said to the others. "Resents it."  
  
"Embarrassed by it?" another asked. He would have said more, but Elle entered the coffee room, expressionless. They got her the usual, Indonesian Sumatra with lo-fat milk and sugar.  
  
  
  
They were assigned desk jobs, both of them, and when they had to speak they did, but there was none of the ease between them, the rapport they shared seemed to have been shattered. And no one knew why.  
  
"...it's nothing I can put my finger on." Jay finished. They were in the cafeteria, empty, this time of day.  
  
Elle sipped her coffee, thinking.   
  
"I understand what you're saying. He almost avoiding you, he's acting like you were a new recruit, not his partner of five years."  
  
"Exactly. And we've been through too much together for that." He turned the cup, making damp circles on the table. "We talked all the time when he was in the tube - well, I did most of the talking - then we had a chat when he first came out of zero-G, and that was fine, but the next time I came in he pretended to be asleep. And then he was reading - and you know how he hates to be interrupted when he's reading - and then he seemed really awkward, and finally I just stopped coming and started just checking with you."  
  
He sighed. "Maybe it's something I..."  
  
"I don't think it's anything you've done." she interrupted. He had sounded a bit hurt, and she paused a moment to find the words for what she thought.  
  
"I think there are three factors at work here. Firstly, your age difference. He was raised in a time where fathers still taught their sons that men were never weak - or showed weakness, never had close friendships, never talked about their feelings. That's the second thing - you really talked, probably for hours, probably for the first time you really, really talked. You knew that he was still critical but he was conscious, and you told him exactly what he meant to you - in real words. And I know it helped bring him back, but now you can't unsay those words - and they were straight from the heart, weren't they?"  
  
She was on track, she knew. Jay just nodded.  
  
"And the third, maybe the most important thing - we all give up a lot to join MIB. We give up any chance at a normal life, children, grandkids, family of any sort. So we become a family here." She stared into her cup, watched the steam patterns.  
  
"When we thought you were dead, I felt like I'd lost my best friend. Zed acted like a favourite student had died, but to Kay you've been not just a protégé, but a son, or maybe a younger brother. You've gotten closer to him than anyone has in the history of the MIB, and losing you..."she looked up, meeting the brown eyes "it almost finished him. He was like a zombie for a long time, and even after he started to come to terms with it he was never quite the same. I think - maybe, he's scared. It's human nature to try to avoid things that hurt you. Your death hurt him worse, I'd guess, than anything in his life, and he's probably afraid of getting back to normal with you. Because we're not in the safest of professions. And next time." she shrugged slightly.  
  
Jay sat back and digested her words. Then he nodded. "I think you may be right. But he needed to know." He leaned forward again. "Even when I couldn't remember anything else I had nightmares about the blast - I knew he was my best friend and that I couldn't do anything to help him. He'll just have to learn to live with the fact we're close. But about the loss - he was getting past it, everyone says so. Hasn't anyone mentioned that to him?"  
  
"I did. When I first noticed how he was acting, but I don't think it registered." she said. "I think this is something he'll need to work through himself."   
  
Jay nodded. It wasn't the answer he'd wanted, but it was a help. If time was what Kay needed, she realized, time was what he would get.  
  
"I'm due on the front desk." he said, and stood. "Later." He walked away, and she watched, and tried to think if there was anything she could do for them.  
  
Ruta had finished his time on Earth, and Jay had thrown a party for him. It had been a rouser, everyone had shown up - even Zed for a few minutes. Kay had made a barely polite visit, then left, pleading backlogged work. Their respective jobs weren't just busy work but while Jay was chafing at it, Kay worked with the same dedication he brought to the field. But nothing had changed between them, and it was getting closer to the time when they would be back on active duty.  
  
Jay caught a glimpse of his partner as Kay entered the gym. He didn't let up his rhythm on the bench pulls, watching while the older agent straightened his tie, his cuffs...he did look older, and not just because he was still recuperating. Finally, he approached the universal gym, stopped in eyeshot of Jay, and waited. Jay nodded at him, finished his set, and sat, shaking the tension from his muscles.   
  
"I wanted to..."  
  
"There's something I..."  
  
The words collided, and they fell silent.  
  
"Go ahead." Jay said.   
  
"You first." Kay replied.   
  
"Age before beauty." Jay countered, and Kay hmmphed. Jay grinned at him and started another set.  
  
"I've been thinking about what happened. I found out some things about myself that worried me."  
  
"You've always worried me." Jay responded, but the banter fell flat. "What worried you?"  
  
"My - unexpectedly extreme reaction." He put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. "Since I've been released from medical I've been thinking seriously of asking for another partner."  
  
The words were like a blow - the weights clanked down as Jay lost his grip. He reached down for his towel, covered by pretending his hands were slippery and wiping them off, and started again. When he felt under control again, he asked "Why?" as neutrally as he could.  
  
Kay took a deep breath. "We are the job, Slick. We're the Secret Service, the bodyguards of the world, and it means any of us may be in a position to make a call that would cost the lives of fellow agents. We have to be able to make that decision in an instant, knowing people we know, work with, - have affection for - would die."  
  
"And." Jay prompted.   
  
"Given what happened over the last few months, and how I feel now, I wondered about myself - if a decision like that involved you - I didn't know if I could do it."  
  
Jay finished his last set, sat, and met his partner's gaze.   
  
"And now?"  
  
"I still don't know if I could."  
  
Jay stood, threw his towel over his shoulder, and went around to the other side of the apparatus.   
  
"Makes us even - I don't know if I could do it, either." He didn't pause, but set the weights, sat, braced his feet, and started the pushes.   
  
Kay followed him, leaned against the metal bar.  
  
"But I kept thinking about it, what if's, you know - I've had a lot of time for that. And the bare fact is that I don't want anyone else making that decision for you - if it comes to it."  
  
Jay nodded. "Back at'cha."  
  
"So." Kay dropped to his haunches, eye level with the younger man. "I'm not going to ask for a new partner. We've done pretty well so far. I think I'm just going to trust that our luck will hold." And the warmth was back in his eyes, a real grin on his face.  
  
Jay smiled back, and it showed the weight he had just felt come off his shoulders. Elle had been pretty close to right.  
  
"And trust that if it doesn't hold," he said "we'll be able to make that decision - if it comes to it."  
  
"Agreed." Kay straightened, then offered Jay his hand. "We're due in Zed's office in fifteen minutes."   
  
Jay took it, pulled himself up. "Just enough time to shower." he said, and wrapped his free arm around Kay, who, not surprisingly, returned the hug.  
  
"Go on." he said, releasing Jay finally. "We've got to go save the world again." 


End file.
